Too much love
by Serenitas
Summary: A thousand years in the future Chiba Mamoru looks back on his life and wonders about what might have been... as Neo Queen Serenity finds it impossible to forget the man who broke her heart. Songfic! Be nice in reviews please! One shot!


This songfic was inspired by the wonderful song "Too much Love will kill you" by Queen. I hope you enjoy. Standard disclaimers, I own nothing and to all those who are concerned, I will be updating Watch Me Shine tomorrow! Read and review but be kind. First SM songfic here! No flames!

_I'm just the pieces of the man I used to be   
Too many bitter tears are raining down on me   
I'm far away from home   
And I've been facing this alone   
For much too long   
I feel like no-one ever told the truth to me   
About growing up and what a struggle it would be   
In me tangled state of mind   
I've been looking back to find   
Where I went wrong _

Chiba Mamoru sighed as he left his work at the hospital and got in his car and headed home to his wife. Rei was a wonderful wife who loved him so much and he had to admit that theirs was a good match, but there were times when he felt like it was all wrong. He remembered one love, the one where he felt like it was true, where he felt like it would be forever, and it would have been but for visions that plagued him with every breath he took. He remembered her eyes, her sheer devotion to him and he had in turn ripped her heart out. He never knew if she recovered from that or not. He and Rei lived in a world where his ex ruled, for he had unquestioningly turned his planet over to her. It was the least he could do after destroying something so beautiful and pure. Last he heard she had married one of the Senshi from the Outer Rim and they had a son. He and Rei ignored the fact that when that news came out he went to the nearest bar and got blindingly drunk. He had always thought **something** would change and they would get back together. 

He was a devoted husband to Rei, never straying, never looking at another woman, and in return she said nothing over the fact that she was his default choice. It didn't matter how much time passed, a thousand years or a hundred thousand, he loved Usagi – damn those visions. Damn him for listening to him. Damn her for saving his life so many times. Damn her for forgiving him. Damn her for moving on. Damn him for living.

* * * * * *

Neo Queen Serenity looked out at her planet and sighed as Seiya wrapped a gentle arm around her and kissed her throat. She couldn't have asked for a man who loved her more, who worshipped the ground she walked on. She had found him and he had saved her from the darkness that had threatened to engulf her. Being a creature of light she knew nothing of such darkness, where it came from or where it went. All she knew was that Seiya kept it from her, Seiya and her son. She frequently banished images from her head of a pink haired little girl who despite making her life a living hell, had been the offspring of her one true love. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't fake an emotion she didn't feel, an emotion that had once come so easy to her, but it all died one tragic afternoon in Mamoru's apartment at the bidding of his future self and his future daughter. Well the future had been changed and could never be repaired according to Setsuna. She never commented on whether the future that would have been would be better than the one now. 

She never told her thoughts to Seiya though she figured that he suspected her love remained with one who had torn her heart from her chest and left her a broken and empty shell. 

  
_Too much love will kill you   
If you can't make up your mind   
Torn between the lover   
And the love you leave behind   
You're headed for disaster   
'cos you never read the signs   
Too much love will kill you   
Every time _

He could drive himself crazy on 'might have been's,' he had to move on he knew. Had it really been over a thousand years since he left her? It seemed like just yesterday and eternity rolled into one. He had seen her around from time to time, but never spoke to her. Never got close enough because her other Senshi formed a protective and lethal barrier around her, especially to him. The Outers were the worst, but the remaining Inners were just as bad. When he and Rei got together she had been stripped of her mantle and Usagi's best friend Naru took on the role of Sailor Mars. She couldn't have been more lost to him if she was on the other side of the Universe instead of just on the other side of a city. He had tried to get to her once, to explain, to make her understand. It was not the Senshi nor their weapons that had stopped him, but the ice in her blue eyes, the deadness and the searing pain inside him that let him know that he put it there. 

* * * * * * * *

Usagi couldn't stand another minute in the palace being surrounded by everyone, particularly her husband and son. She informed Venus that she was going for a walk through her city and because she was the former Sailor Moon she did not need an escort. Incognito meant alone and unnoticeable and everyone knew that the sight of Senshi meant the Queen was somewhere around. As she headed out of the gates, sunglasses covering her giveaway eyes, she remembered with a pang the last time she had seen him. It seemed like she was dead inside, her heart a lump of nothing inside her chest. When she had seen him, even for a moment it was like being resuscitated after death. Then Hotaru took matters into her own hands and herded her away from him. There was betrayal and regret in his stormy eyes along with her own sorrow that she could never tell him why she had forgiven him. 

  
_I'm just the shadow of the man I used to be   
And it seems like there's no way out of this for me   
I used to bring you sunshine   
Now all I ever do is bring you down   
How would it be if you were standing in my shoes   
Can't you see that it's impossible to choose   
No there's no making sense of it   
Every way I go I'm bound to lose _

Mamoru walked into his house. "Tadaima!"

Rei stuck her head out of the kitchen. "Okaeri." She smiled at him with a mysterious grin.

"Well what are you so happy about hon? Your face could open a branch smile."

Her smile only got wider as she held out a small stick. "Two lines Mamo-chan." She said in a happy tone.

Did she see how he flinched every time she called him Mamo-chan? That was HER name for him. You'd think Rei would be more original in her pet names, but no matter. "Yes?" he said, not quite comprehending.

"I went to the doctor today." She said, pausing. "We're FINALLY going to have our baby Mamo-chan!" she flung herself at her husband, expecting him to rejoice in this news as she had. A thousand years of trying paying off. The curse that had been placed on them lifted.

Mamoru felt cold inside. Numb. A child with Rei, wasn't this what they had talked about and planned for for so long? Wasn't this the final culmination of their marriage? He knew the answer. He didn't want a baby with Rei, he wanted one with the woman he truly loved. He couldn't say anything, so he said nothing at all and Rei mistook his silence for stunned joy. It was stunned something alright.

She kissed him quickly and then flew out of his grasp. "Now I know you had your heart set on the name Chibi-Usa if it's a girl, but Mamoru really, that's so wrong, the name of your ex girlfriend for our daughter? I'm thinking something nice, like Keiko or Yoko or Noriko. Nothing related to animals, or anyone unless we want a Chibi-rei?" she looked at him, hopeful.

"Let's discuss names after this sinks in." he said clearing his throat. "I feel the sudden need to go for a walk Rei." He turned and walked out the door he had entered only two minutes before.

* * * * * * * *

Usagi paused at the park, the site of so many battles, the place where she had first realized she deeply and truly loved Tuxedo Kamen, so close to the place where he had left her on the ground when she tripped. She had to purge him from her mind at last. A thousand years was long enough to hold onto something that was dead and gone, yet every time she made the decision to move on and banish him completely some part of her began to scream inside. She held onto him still yet she knew not why. Her feet guided her on some unseen path, the stillness disturbing to her. Where were the people? Why was she at the lake where they had once sat in a rowboat? Why couldn't she bring herself to move at all.

Footsteps behind her. An intake of breath. She knew without turning it was him. Somehow. Impossibly. It was him. "Usako?"

_Too much love will kill you   
Just as sure as none at all   
It'll drain the power that's in you   
Make you plead and scream and crawl   
And the pain will make you crazy   
You're the victim of your crime   
Too much love will kill you   
Every time _

She turned to face him. How had he ever lived without that face? Her eyes covered by dark glasses, but he knew her well enough to guess at the expression in them. "What are you doing here alone? It's far too dangerous." Was the first thing he said to her. '_Brilliant __Chiba__, your first words to her in a millennium are 'It's too dangerous.'_

She didn't seem upset. She smiled a small and sad smile. "I can take care of myself Mamoru."

Mamoru, not Mamo-chan. Did anyone else see his heart out on the pavement for all the world to see. "Usako…" he began but she held up her hand.

"I know what you are going to say and I beg you not to say it…Mamo-chan." She said softly. "I have tried to move on from you yet I never could. I married the greatest man in the Galaxy, he loves me and worships me and hates you because you hold my heart. You always have. I moved on with my life but I never did. There was always you."

"I have never left you either Usako." Mamoru walked towards her and drew her close in his arms. Time could end in this moment and he wouldn't care. He held her again. 

She drew back from him. "But you have to Mamo-chan. Mamoru. It's time. We cannot be together no matter what you do or say. Rei is going to have your child and you have a thriving practice. I have responsibilities to a Galaxy, to a planet to a little boy who calls me mama, to an unborn child and to a man who has given his life to defend me."

"I can't let you go like this Usako. I wanted to tell you all those years ago…"

"I know Mamoru. I know what you wanted to say and you didn't have to say a word. I forgive you, I forgave you. Our time has ended my love. You cannot leave the life you have nor can I. I accept this now. I have seen you and talked to you and I can finally get closure at last."

"I can't let it end like this." He said desperately.

"Didn't you end it all those years ago in a much harsher fashion?" she asked softly. 

"Usako I'm sorry, I never realized how much I hurt you. I was such a bastard."

"You were." She agreed. "And there were nights when I held myself in a ball and cried and thought I would never get over you or move on. I was dead inside the day Seiya asked me to marry him. I saw your face each and every time he kissed me. I cursed you each time he held me in his arms. No matter what I said or did I could never leave you in the ashes of the past…until now."

"Usako…" he reached for her.

"Usagi." She said gently. "It'll be okay Mamoru. Return to your wife, she needs you. Put me in the past where I belong for our time is done."

"But…"

"Stop living a lie Mamoru. We will never get back together." She shook her head somewhat sadly. "You chose this path for us, I was never consulted. And I forgive you for that too." Standing slightly on tiptoe, she pressed her lips to his, kissing him one last time, pouring into it all she needed and yearned to say. For a timeless moment it was a thousand years ago…before their lives had been so drastically changed.

Pulling apart he looked at her breathlessly for a moment until he saw the finality of the situation in her eyes. He cleared his throat and nodded, turning and heading back to his wife. They had baby names to discuss. It would take a lot of time, but Usako…Usagi was right._  
_  
_Too much love will kill you   
It'll make your life a lie   
Yes, too much love will kill you   
And you won't understand why   
You'd give your life, you'd sell your soul   
But here it comes again   
Too much love will kill you   
In the end...   
In the end._

Usagi closed her eyes in pain as she watched his back turn and walk away from her again. "It is finished." She said aloud. Cocking her head slightly, she smiled at her Senshi of Time. "Thank you for this Setsuna."

"It's the least I could do." She nodded to her.

Haruka came out of the trees. "You are finally over him? If I told you once Kitten it's that too much love will kill you."

Usagi said nothing but closed her eyes as pain seared her heart one last time before she turned towards her palace. Time resumed once more and the park stood empty, holding past memories of a time, of a place and of two people that would never come again.

Kinda angsty, the first time I ever wrote a fic where Usagi and Mamoru **didn't** end up together but this scenario seemed to fit the lyrics. I hope you enjoyed!


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